Spiritual Values

In my last blog I wrote about ‘Spiritual Health’ and how important our spiritual health is to our individual happiness and to the happiness of the wider community, whether this community is our family unit or our national grouping or the global community of nations. In this blog, I would like to talk a little bit about the spiritual values which underpin our spiritual health. Our values reflect they way we consider various aspects of our existence and how we view the world around us. Some things we consider to be important, perhaps highly important; some things we dislike or even detest; some things we ignore as beneath our consideration. The value we give to anything is a reflection of our thinking, our emotional reactions, our aesthetic values, our experience of life, how rich we are, how poor we are, as well as our social and familial education. It is often,too, a reflection of how our friends think. If our friends think that something is important and attention should be given to it, then we often follow their lead. Spiritual values are similar but different in that they are abstract considerations which focus on how we conduct our everyday affairs and relationships rather than focusing on material considerations. They reflect our beliefs. We learn our spiritual values to begin with from our parents and friends, through our educational institutions and through the spiritual values demonstrated by society. Our various religious institutions instruct us on the importance of spiritual values. Our governments and other institutions such as our courts of law and penal systems reflect our current social attitudes to, for example, forgiveness, compassion, justice, truth-telling as well as to our thoughts of revenge and wish to punish the mistakes of others. Spiritual values can reflect both our positive thoughts and our negative thoughts and beliefs. Some of the more obvious positive spiritual values include: acceptance, acknowledgment, adaptability, altruism, appreciation, balance, benevolence, charity, cheerfulness, confidence, courage, compassion, creativity, empathy, faith, forgiveness, gentleness, harmony, hope, humility, intuition, idealism, joyfulness , justice, kindness, love, positivity, patience, peace, perseverance, realism, responsibility, self-discipline, serenity, steadfastness, tolerance, trust, truthfulness, understanding, wisdom. Quite a list! Let’s start by looking at some key positive spiritual values: empathy, understanding, compassion, mercy and forgiveness. In many ways, these values are all related: they are different facets of the same viewpoint. When someone offends us by word or action, are first reaction is usually anger. Anger itself reflects our sense of an injustice done to us. We want to strike back against the injustice. We want to correct the injustice. We usually want to punish the wrongdoer. We need our sense of harmony and balance to be restored. The problem often is that the wrongdoer does not acknowledge their crime: he or she refuses to admit that they have done anything wrong. Worse, they do admit it and do not care .They laugh at us. Our anger increases. Our desire for revenge is now really strong. Yet, we are taught that revenge is not morally acceptable. In addition, we see from observation of instances of revenge-taking that the results are often counter-productive. The problem escalates in severity provoking a cycle of revenge-taking, anger, more revenge-taking. Revenge-taking usually makes the initial problem worse. It does not increase our self-esteem. It does not solve the problem long-term. And even if the wrong-doer does admit their guilt, should we react by seeking punishment? How does this help? People who are punished often feel angry, bitter, self-pitying, vengeful. The notion that if we punish someone, they will reform their behaviour and do as we want them to do is not borne out by results. Punishing someone should not and usually does not make us feel morally superior. We feel that we have given in to baser emotions of anger, fear and revenge, all of which can leave us with a bad taste in the mouth. If we seek and exact revenge, we may feel that we have descended a level in spirituality. We become little better than the perpetrator. Social and personal progress is not made. How,then, do we square this circle? The way out of this dilemma is to begin by taking a step back and trying to understand the larger dimensions of the problem. We need to understand why the wrong-doer acted in this negative way. We need to step into their shoes to understand their rationale. We do not have to accept their thinking but we do have to understand the driving force behind the negative actions. Native American Indians used to teach that ‘until we can walk in the moccasins of our enemy, we cannot understand them and therefore cannot judge them.’ Sound advice. Great wisdom. This ability to identify with another is called empathy. Empathy involves the identification of the observer with the object being observed and from this, to have the capacity to appreciate things and emotions outside ourselves. So, having ‘merged’ with the other person, we can begin to feel what he/she feels emotionally. From this empathetic action, comes our understanding of their life situation. When we start to consider the motivation behind the wrong-doer’s actions, we may come to realise that there is some great lack in their life – food, money, shelter, a job, a sense of security, a sense of inferiority, a sense of purpose, a sense of hopelessness, a mental illness, an addiction, a history of abuse and violence which has bred a response of abuse and violence as a personal behavioural norm. Often the lack is connected with a lack of love – love from parents or siblings, love from our peers, love from someone important to us and, crucially, a lack of self-love or self-esteem. Missing. The despair which the wrong-doer feels about his/her personal unworthiness will cause them to be angry at the world. They will want to act out their anger. They will seek revenge on an uncaring world. When this injustice as perceived by the wrong-doer is understood, then our natural reaction should be one of compassion. We should begin to understand that the wrong-does was not trying to hurt us; they were trying to cope with injustice and deprivation. Against this background, notions of revenge-taking are clearly unhelpful. A wiser response is to attempt to help our enemy to overcome his/her sense of deprivation and injustice. Perhaps we can supply one of the missing elements of their lives be it money, security, housing, a job, a sense of purpose, increased personal esteem, a way out of their personal unhappiness. Our understanding and compassion for the plight of the wrong-doer can lead us to a sense of compassion for their negative life situation. From there, we can actively show forgiveness and mercy. From there, we can try to help. From there, we can elevate our spiritual awareness and grow in wisdom and love. This is spiritual growth. This is a desirable outcome. Looked at in the larger picture of our life’s journey, it could be argued that any injustice or wrong-doing which we suffer can be viewed as an opportunity for spiritual growth. We can become better individuals through a more thoughtful response to the adversities we suffer. We can feel good about our failure to react negatively. We can increase our self-esteem. We can raise our vibration level. We can rise above the storms of life and learn to expand our beingness. We can begin to fulfil our life’s purpose. So, we can see why exercising our empathy, understanding, compassion, forgiveness and mercy – key spiritual values – will lead to a more humane society for all. In my next blog. I will look at some more spiritual values and how they impact our lives.